Following Our Children’s Lead

This morning at 10 am, nearly the entire Middle School quietly and respectfully walked out of their classrooms and gathered in the amphitheater as part of a national walkout inspired by students across the country. The students stood silently for 17 minutes, one minute for each person who was killed at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida one month ago.

At Hillbrook, the students organized the walkout completely on their own. Unlike some schools where the adults coordinated the effort, we chose to remain true to our values as a school and allow students the time and space to decide how they wanted to manage this moment. We did not bring the event to the students, but we did respond to students who asked about it by saying we would respect their desire to participate in this event. I joined Head of Middle School Christina Pak, Director of Inclusivity & Diversity Jules Greene and several other teachers and staff members who were with the students during the vigil.

When I walked out of my office today at 9:55 am I had no idea what to expect. When students started coming in large numbers I was proud and humbled that they had, on their own, taken the initiative to mark this moment in time. It was truly a student event – organized by students in support of students. It was the quietest gathering of Middle Schoolers I have ever experienced. It was their time.

I found myself tearing up at one moment during the 17 minutes of silence, as I looked out at this hopeful and thoughtful sea of children’s faces. It is tragic that our children need to take this type of stand at a moment in their lives where they should be focused on the joys of childhood. It is tragic that 17 children lost their lives at Parkland, and that many, many more have lost their lives in school shootings during the past few decades.

Somewhat fittingly, the majority of 3rd and 4th graders continued to play on the 3rd/4th playground throughout the silent vigil. Some of them looked over and I could see them quietly talking to each other about what was happening, while others remained immersed in recess. At least two 3rd graders actually joined the event and stood silently with their Middle School classmates. I appreciated the sounds of joyful laughter for it reminded me of why students were doing this – to challenge us as a society to protect children and allow them to remain children a little bit longer.

As parents, I would encourage you to be thoughtful in entering a conversation with your child. If you have a middle school aged child, I would invite you to talk to them about this morning and about their thoughts about school shootings. Clearly, as evidenced this morning, they are aware of the situation and I imagine will be eager, in many cases, to talk with you about their thoughts and feelings. For younger children, I would not have the conversation unless your child brings it up. And, if your child does bring it up, I would encourage you to answer the questions they are asking, and not provide too much information. Follow their lead and keep your answers short and factual. As adults, we sometimes struggle to refrain from filtering the words and questions of a child through our perspective and years of experience. Sometimes the phrases “Tell me more” or “What makes you say that?” are the best way to listen. Often children are seeking connection more than they are seeking answers.

I also know that these events have created anxiety for parents. As a school, we reviewed our security procedures earlier this year with the Los Gatos Police Department. Our student’s safety and security remains our highest priority, and we will continue to work with experts to create the best possible emergency systems.

I am incredibly proud of our students and the community that has helped to shape them into the young people they are. While I am saddened that we are having these conversations, I am inspired to think that these children are growing into the leaders who will be able to solve these problems in the future.