Our youngest, Piper, woke me up at 3 in the morning the other night. It has become a pretty consistent pattern. She’ll sleep through the night for one or two days and then, all of a sudden, her big brown eyes will be staring at Carla and me from the side of the bed. Of our three children, she has been the quirkiest sleeper. She slept through the night early and was a “good” sleeper until she was about 2½. The last 18 months, however, she has struggled to sleep through the night consistently.
I wish I could claim I was a perfect parent who calmly and rationally found a way to soothe her at this dark hour of the night. Unfortunately, I have found myself increasingly frustrated and at certain moments desperate for a solution. We have tried one of us lying down next to her in her bed, bringing her into our own bed, or just plopping her back into her bed and letting her cry herself back to sleep. One or two nights will go by and, just when I think we may have a resolution, she’s back in our room, eyes wide open, pleading for Mom and Dad.
I mention all of this not for sympathy—I know that all of you have been there at some point, and many of you are there right now—nor in an effort to ask for help finding a solution. I mention it because it was the first thing that popped into my mind today as I was thinking about why I am thankful.
With Thanksgiving next Thursday, it is the season to take a step back and reflect on the many things we have in our lives for which we are thankful. In a community where we are blessed with so much, it is easy, I suspect, for most of us to generate answers relatively quickly. Speaking for myself, I immediately note that I am grateful for my health, for a partner and children who love me and who are blessed with their own good health, and for a job that I find challenging, inspiring, and incredibly rewarding. I am thankful for this community where my entire family has been welcomed these past three years and to be at a school that has a vision, mission and core values that are closely aligned with my own personal values and beliefs.
All of those things are true, and yet I find myself drawn to thinking this year about how I am—and should be—thankful for those things in my life which may not at first glance be obvious things to appreciate. I started to think about how important it is to challenge myself to keep a perspective on life that strives to find the positive—the proverbial silver lining—in difficult moments. It is easy to be thankful for the good things, but shouldn’t I also strive to be thankful for at least some of the challenges?
When I was 13 years old, I competed in nine tennis tournaments. It was my first year in the 14 and under division and I won only two matches the entire season. During the summer, I know I found little to appreciate in the experience, yet, looking back, I know that I learned more about perseverance, humility, and good sportsmanship than perhaps at any other time in my life. I’m thankful for that summer and for the important life lessons it taught me.
The past 18 months I have worked tirelessly along with many other members of the community to put together our application to modify the conditional use permit, thus allowing us to grow our enrollment. The opposition has, at times, been fierce and the situation is definitely not resolved. I am thankful, however, that through it all the Hillbrook community has remained respectful and professional, and that as a community we have proactively taken steps to improve the traffic situation in the neighborhood. The process has made us better neighbors, and for that I am grateful.
So, I ask myself, why should I be thankful for Piper’s 3 am visits?
I’m thankful that I still have at least one child who believes that being with her parents can be comforting in the middle of the night. I’m thankful that Piper is challenging me to become a more patient and understanding parent. I’m thankful that she gives me a kiss and a hug every morning, even after those nights when I have eventually had to take her back to her own bed and let her cry herself back to sleep.
And, finally, I’m thankful that she reminds me that the true test of our character and unconditional love is not how we respond to the good times, but how we react during the inevitable times of challenge.
Happy Thanksgiving.