By Leila Sayar, Parent of the Hillbrook Class of 2025 and 2026
To say that the course of events in our world has changed everything is an understatement. Our world shrunk and flipped upside down in a matter of a few days. In the months that have followed, the cracks in our society and human relationships have been highlighted in a way that hasn’t been experienced in decades. There are a lot of things to be upset and anxious about, but I am heartened by our children’s resilience, compassion, and capabilities. I am certain that our children will know more, do better, and be better than our generation. They will actually reach beyond themselves to make the world a better place and learn to pivot when faced with obstacles in their lives.
At the start of these changes, I distinctly remember going to the parent teacher conferences on the afternoon of Friday, March 13, 2020. As I drove up to the beautiful and idyllic Hillbrook campus, I remember feeling a heaviness in my heart. I think I knew then that I would not get to see my kids back on that gorgeous campus for a while. I wrestled with how my husband and I were going to talk to our two young kids about what school was going to look like in the coming weeks. All I knew on that day was that I was picking up iPads for each child that had everything installed for their use. I was nervous to be “homeschooling” two kids in two different grades while working. So as I made my way to the 3rd grade classroom followed by my meditative walk towards the 2nd grade classroom, I realized how much more prepared the school was and how thoughtful the teachers had been in anticipating the problems that would come up. I received instructions on how to help my kids get started, but I remained clueless as to what was expected of me. Needless to say, I learned a great deal in the first few weeks of distance learning. The first week was brutal! There were lots of tears and tantrums – oh, and kids had a hard time too. The first week gave me a great deal of insight into my children, their education, their abilities, and the areas that needed growth. In the midst of all of it, I was struggling with my own anxieties of what the world was going to look like and how our lives were going to change for the foreseeable future. Some of those anxieties have not dissipated, but my faith and confidence in my children and the quality of care and education they are receiving have taken the edge off of them.
In the first couple of weeks, I realized how capable my children actually were. Although each of them has a different skillset, I have been impressed by their ability to create a sense of normalcy for themselves. I have had the opportunity to witness, first hand, how resilient they are. They adapted to distance learning and rose to the challenge of having to do things via SeeSaw and Google Meets. They taught me how they upload their assignments and edit things on the various platforms. I was surprised by their abilities because I never had such an intimate perspective of what they were doing at school.
As parents, we rarely get to observe our children interact with their teachers and peers. However, distance learning made that possible. I’m not suggesting that any of us wanted or expected to have distance learning become part of the fabric of our children’s education, but due to forces outside of our control it has. Let me be clear that it is not my preferred way of educating my children, but I made a choice to embrace it and be more curious about what I could take away from this unexpected experience.
I learned pretty early on that my 3rd grader is much more capable and independent than I ever gave him credit for. I also learned that my 2nd grader does better and learns better when she feels empowered and successful. So, I would often pretend to be the student and have my 2nd grader teach me the curriculum. This started with a need for her to have me sit by her side for every single assignment, and ended with her being fully capable of completing her school work on her own. The growth I observed in both of the children was remarkable. I’m not sure that I would have had the same level of insight, if we weren’t doing school at home. The positive surprises didn’t end there.
I have always known that Hillbrook has been a wonderful place for our family. It is due in large part to the amazing community of supportive parents, teachers, faculty and administration. During our distance learning, I had a chance to connect with other parents who I had always intended to get to know, but never found the time to connect with. I now have friends and partners that I can rely on to help me raise my children. The biggest surprises however, have come from my moments of eavesdropping on morning, closing, or one-on-one meetings.
I have been impressed by the teachers’ ability to artfully create educational opportunities while continuing to instill notions of empathy, understanding, and just being a good human being. There was a day when a child shared that his dog had passed away. All of the kids in the class were truly kind and empathetic during the meeting that was artfully orchestrated by the teacher. However, the moment didn’t end there. Almost immediately, there was a new Seesaw activity created by the teachers that asked for each member of the class to create a video, a drawing or a note to their grieving friend. I thought about how brilliant that was. It encouraged the kids to think beyond themselves and find ways to compose and articulate their sympathies for a member of their community. This activity is emblematic of what a Hillbrook education is and what the school’s mission is in raising capable and kind human beings.
This entire journey has not been all roses. We have certainly had our fair share of thorns. We’ve all struggled with disturbed sleep, some tantrums, and extra need for cuddle time. However, every step of the way, the teachers were there to support our kids and us as we struggled to get through the day at times. Our family has also found some peace in continuing to engage in simple activities to maintain some semblance of normalcy when nothing was normal. Even a birthday celebration was impacted by Covid 19. I understand that there are people who have greater struggles than worrying about a birthday party, but try telling that to an 8 year old! With a quick message the day before the would-be birthday celebration, the entire grade rallied and drove by to give this otherwise heartbroken 8 year-old, a birthday parade. The community stepped up and made her feel so special. Later that afternoon, she received a birthday card from Head of School Mark Silver, and all was right in the world again. That birthday card served as a reminder that not only do we cherish our community, we find a sense of security in the traditions that are part of its fabric. It was almost as if she needed the card to feel like some things had stayed the same.
Obviously, we all miss our friends and community. We miss the kind smiles and warm hugs provided by the teachers. Nothing is the same. Nothing. In the last couple of weeks we have started to take greater stock of what our place and responsibility is in the world around us. Because Hillbrook does such a great job of teaching our kids to be kind, to be their best, and to make the world a better place, it is easier for us to discuss current events. Our kids are and will be prepared to take care of the world they live in and to embrace change. They are learning that there is more than one way to learn. They are learning to be responsible for their thoughts and actions and try to work towards resolving problems. I am proud to know that my kids have been taught and exposed to learning about diversity, equity and inclusion from Kindergarten. I feel at ease knowing that these issues are not discussed as part of a curriculum, but as part of the entirety of their education. When my young kids ask about why there are protests and what it all means, I know that they have the foundational understanding to receive the truthful response. They have the capacity to ask questions, be critical and question the status quo because of the values instilled in them with a Hillbrook education.
So, I go back to my initial point that although things are difficult and fractured in our world, I am heartened that our children will do better and be better than the generations before them.