By Colleen Schilly, Head of Lower School
It’s May. The sun is out and the days are speeding past us towards summer. Everyone is a variable mix of tired, proud, excited, and hopeful. Graduation is around the corner. This year, Graduation takes place on Tuesday, June 4 at 9 AM. As we begin arranging the logistics and details that make the end of the year run as smoothly as possible, I’ve been thinking about the question: Who is graduation for?
Graduation is for 8th graders and their families. Of course! They are the stars of the day. This is their ending, their beginning, their milepost along the way. But that’s not the main reason why I’m writing today. I’m also writing because, while Graduation is primarily about celebrating them, it is also about our school, our community, and our shared values and humanity. Graduation is for you, too.
Graduation is for teachers. I use the term ‘teachers’ loosely here, because every adult who works at Hillbrook is, in some way, a teacher. Children are always watching us, learning from how we behave towards others, how we move about the world, how we do our work. Graduation is the chance for the adults who give of their time, heart, expertise, and energy to celebrate the journey of the students who are leaving us and taking pieces of what we’ve given them out in to the world. At Graduation we remember all the ways the 8th graders have changed during their time at Hillbrook…and all the ways they have remained true to their essential selves. We remember all of the challenges, the victories, tears, laughter, and stories that shaped our relationships with them. We remember that these “rememberings” all point to why each of us chose education and chose Hillbrook.
Graduation is for children. Of all ages. Every year during rehearsal I sit in the benches brimming with students as they squirm and whisper and fidget. And every year there are so many empty seats on those same benches on Graduation Day. My heart breaks a little. Graduation is long. It can even be a little boring. Hearing names read aloud is not incredibly interesting to a 5 or 8 or 10 year old—or adults, for that matter. From my spot at the back of the groups of students I watch as they whisper “is this the last one?” about a speaker or mumble the words to a graduation song they’ve sung year after year. These responses are natural—and I would argue that they are necessary and worthwhile. Because I also watch every year as 8th graders smile and laugh and cry at those same songs they once rolled their eyes at are sung (and this time, it’s for them!). I watch as they sit, riveted, to the words of Mr. Silver, their class speakers, and the alumni speaker (because this time, that speaker is sharing words written for them!). The power of that moment is less poignant for students who haven’t witnessed and supported the experience with their presence and their voice for the years they’ve been at Hillbrook. Graduation is powerful for children because it evokes nostalgia. Nostalgia grows from the seeds of rituals and traditions. Graduation doesn’t feel all that special if it’s the first one to which you’ve ever been. Graduation feels like a profound rite of passage that is earned if you’ve watched hundreds of students celebrate it before you. It makes you part of something bigger than yourself. Helping your children attend and participate in Graduation is a gift you are giving to their future 8th grade selves.
Graduation is for families of not-yet 8th graders. I know, they aren’t your kids up there on stage. But someday…they will be. And for all the reasons I mentioned above about why graduation is more meaningful for children when it is a cherished tradition they honor with their presence, I believe it is the same for you. Raising children is hard. It is vulnerable. It is, as author Elizabeth Stone writes, like “having your heart go walking around outside of your body.” And all the while they are making the world better, making mistakes, making you laugh, cry, pull your hair out, and ache with love. Whatever grade your child is at, there have already been moments of joy and of heartache, and I’m sure some combination of each of those have happened at school. Your child’s school experience is a huge part of their and your lives. Sometimes it feels smooth and easy, and sometimes it feels like the grind will never end. Growing up is a long, often messy, journey. Graduation is the chance for you to peek at the end of the story. It’s a chance for you to glimpse into the crystal ball of the Hillbrook experience and hear from those students who’ve walked the path ahead of your child. It’s your chance to reflect on why you’ve chosen Hillbrook for your family, and to stand alongside other families as a community and recommit to modeling and upholding our shared values. When we show up and applaud and cheer for the graduating 8th grade students we are saying to all Hillbrook children, “We see you. You matter. We are here to show you that you belong to a community that believes in you.”
Graduation is for everyone. It is most meaningful when it is a moment shaped in a space held by all of us. At the end of the day, the children sitting in the amphitheater—whether they are on stage being honored or whether they are sitting in benches waiting to sing and listen to others—are the reason we are all here. Your child’s learning and growth is stronger because of the village that invests their time and care in loving, teaching, and raising them. It’s quite fitting that Graduation takes place in the heart of the original Village of Friendly Relations. The small houses built by the original students of Hillbrook remind us of the larger story of which we are a part. And villages need people. We are Hillbrook’s people.