A couple months ago, I was sitting on the sidelines waiting for my son Jackson’s basketball game to start. Carla and I were doing the weekly “Saturday shuffle,” dividing and conquering so we could get each child to the right place at the right time. At this particular moment, she was off with the other two, meaning I had a few minutes of uninterrupted time alone. The players were warming up and I found my mind starting to wander. Mindlessly, I pulled out my phone and started to look through email. A quick check revealed no new emails on this early Saturday afternoon, so I found myself popping over to Facebook for a quick glance at the latest posts. Not much there so I moved over to Twitter. After scrolling for a minute, I popped back to email. No surprise, no new email. Soon after, Jackson’s game started and I refocused on the activity. Of course, during breaks, I found myself rechecking my phone.
Fast forward a few weeks to the National Association of Independent Schools (NAIS) Conference. One of the keynote speakers was Alex Soojung-Kim Pang, author of The Distraction Addiction and a proponent of what he terms contemplative computing. Pang talked about how difficult it is to disconnect from our devices, noting that people interact with their smartphones 150 times per day. He asked everyone in the room to take out their phone and open email. We all waited to see what he was going to ask us to do. He paused, and then asked us, “How many of you are holding your breath right now?” The slightly uneasy laughter suggested I was not the only one who had been holding my breath. He noted that effective multi-tasking is a myth, asking the audience to complete several tasks that quickly revealed the limits of our abilities.
Pang’s point was not that we should create a device-free world. Instead, he argued that we need to take control of how we use technology. He argued that we need to build a cultural response to the mindless assumption that we should always be on. Most powerfully he noted, “Connection is inevitable. Distraction is a choice.”
So how do we change our relationship with our devices? Pang suggested a variety of approaches, from a device-free evening with your family to a no email day at work. He talked about placing your cell phone in a cell phone sleeping bag for the day, or participating in the National Day of Unplugging (held earlier in March). In the end, he argued that regardless of how we do it, we need to create systems that ensure we regularly disconnect from our devices and reconnect to the other ways that we interact with the world.
As a school that believes strongly in integrating technology in meaningful ways into our program, Pang’s advice was a welcome reaffirmation of what we have always believed. Just because all middle school students have an iPad, for example, does not mean that they should be using it endlessly throughout the day. Spend time in our classrooms at all grade levels, and you will see that a significant amount of time is device-free, with students engaging in a wide-variety of analog activities.
It is not the time during school, however, that worries me. It is the time outside of school when I see my own children—and many others—mimicking the behavior of the adults around them. The shift in technology usage between seven years ago when our oldest was 5 and today, when my youngest is 5, is staggering. As I noted in the beginning, I am definitely as guilty as anyone I know, tethered to my phone and my iPad. So what to do? Following Pang’s advice I’m trying to start with small steps.
Two weeks ago, I was again on the sidelines for one of Jackson’s game. This time the whole family was together, enjoying an early season lacrosse game on a beautiful sunny day. Sitting there, I made a conscious choice—I would not take out my phone for the entire game. It was great to sit with Carla and the girls, taking in the moment. I realize it was a small thing—I’m not ready to give myself an award for not looking at my phone for 90 minutes while hanging out with my family. But it was a start. This weekend I encourage you to try it. Turn off, tune in, reconnect.