Giving Thanks
Giving Thanks

Giving Thanks

Walking past Persimmon a few days ago, I slowed down as I overheard the sounds of our 5th graders singing the opening lines to one of our traditional Thanksgiving songs. “Home is the place where somebody loves you….” The song, along with another Thanksgiving favorite of mine that the children sing every year, “Simple Gifts,” always inspires me to pause and reflect. There is a sense of optimism and joy in their voices and in the songs, a reminder of the sense of possibility that is at the heart of childhood. I find myself transported back to previous Thanksgiving celebrations at Hillbrook and at other schools where I have worked, and, ultimately, to my own childhood memories of the holiday.

Thanksgiving has long been my favorite holiday, an event that brings together family, friends, and lots of good food. Even as a young boy, I loved the annual ritual of watching a football game (do I dare admit I’m a lifelong Dallas Cowboys fan, long a traditional team that plays each year on Thanksgiving?), playing board games such as Life and Monopoly with my cousins, and dressing up in my best clothes for an early semi-formal dinner. The contents of the perfectly arranged table, the product of hours of love and labor, disappeared within minutes, and we would find ourselves heading upstairs for more games before returning to the table for dessert. As I grew older, new rituals – helping with the mashed potatoes and baking a pie, cleaning the piles of dishes up after dinner, and heading out for post-dinner walks – became a part of the yearly ritual.

Our own family’s Thanksgiving celebration today remains quite similar to what I remember from my childhood memories, although unfortunately for my own children they do not have any cousins who live nearby. My responsibilities, of course, have expanded – I like to think, at least, that I am an equal partner in the creation of the meal – yet I still try to find time to watch some football and play games with the children. The clean-up seems to take a little longer and I am a little more tired at the end of the night, and yet my sense of gratitude for each Thanksgiving has, if anything, grown stronger.

Last Monday at Flag, I encouraged students to take a moment during the week to think about something for which they were grateful. I invited them to turn in answers either as drawings or through words. While I had not seen all of the answers as of the time I wrote this column, I had already received a number of heartfelt responses. Students expressed gratitude for family, friends, food on the table, and their education. One brother and sister turned in matching drawings, with each child saying how thankful they were to have the other.

Intuitively, like many, I have always known that gratitude was important. Throughout my career as an educator, I have looked for ways to encourage my students to practice gratitude. In addition, I have sought to be a good role model, looking for the proverbial silver lining amidst difficult situations and continually striving to express appreciation for the gifts that I have in my own life.

Recently, experts have begun studying gratitude as part of the broader research into emotional intelligence and mindfulness. Robert Emmons, one of the experts in this burgeoning field of gratitude studies, suggests that practicing gratitude can have a profound impact on our well-being, influencing our happiness, strengthening relationships, improving sleep, relieving anxiety, and building resilience. He notes that gratitude has two core components. As he writes, “First, it’s an affirmation of goodness. We affirm that there are good things in the world, gifts and benefits we’ve received…. (second) we recognize that the sources of this goodness are outside of ourselves…. We acknowledge that other people … gave us many gifts, big and small, to help us achieve the goodness in our lives.”

Thanksgiving provides us an annual reminder of the importance of gratitude. I encourage you to take a moment both by yourself and with your family in the week ahead to think about these two key components of gratitude. What good things do you see in the world and in your own lives? Who are the people who have helped to provide that goodness in your life?

I know that Tuesday morning during the Grandparents and Special Friends Day performance on the pavers, I will find myself for a moment trying to slow down time. Each year, watching the children sing, amidst the beauty of the campus and with the warmth and energy of the grandparents and special friends looking on, I am reminded of the many wonderful things I have in my life. I am truly grateful for my family and for this extraordinary community.

Happy Thanksgiving.
Mark Silver, Ph.D.
Head of School